Just read a blinding piece from the Courier where half-journalist, half-comedian, Robert Craddock suggested the poms are a much better touring side than the recent predecessors we have dismantled.
C'mon mate. You gotta be f---ing with us? It doesn't take Einstein to realise this pommie team has more flaws than the beer-bellied women with bad teeth you'll find in any English pub.
Ian Bell, now a key batsman either at No.3 or No.6, will probably still be doubting his ability to make it in Australia.
Probably doubting his ability? I find it hilarious this Bell that don't ring is still in the pommie team full stop. Even Bell himself is probably scratching his head and wondering what the f--- he needs to do to get dropped from this sack of s--- team.
Whichever spinner is chosen - Ashley Giles or Monty Panesar - won't be able to match Shane Warne.
No s---. If you tied both Warney's hands behind his back, blindfolded him, and chopped off both his legs, he'd still be more effective than these two pommies.
And swing bowler Matthew Hoggard must be wondering whether he is really suited to Australia's unforgiving conditions.
I've yet to see any conditions that Hogg---- is suited to. Yet sadly for the pathetic pommies, he's still their most potent bowling weapon so that's why he's in the team.
But other parts of the jigsaw are falling nicely into place.
Swingman Jimmy Anderson, who looked district standard in a woeful opening to the tour, now looks Test class after his performance against New South Wales.
Seriously, you're just writing this stuff to get some attention, right? Anderson test class, give me a f---ing break. As they say in the land of the pasty complexion, this guy aint even village class. The poms should save Anderson for the one day matches, where cricket fans expert every delivery to be smashed to the boundary.
He goes onto say that Strauss plays like a man who was born in Australia. But the editorial must have cut the sentence which originally read: "Strauss plays like a man who was born in Australia, but was sent to training camp in England for 10 years and had his Aussie passport revoked."
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Trescothick going home
Marcus Trescothick is on his way back home after another piss poor effort against the mighty green and gold.
Pommie coach Duncan Fletcher delivered the expected news after watching several videos of Brett Lee knocking out Trescothick's stumps in the Ashes warm-up game with New South Wales this past weekend.
Fletcher said diplomatically that the poms "are naturally disappointed to lose a player of his quality from our Ashes squad."
But despite the pom improving on the 2 he scored in the first warm-up game, his failure to get into double figures, while having his brains scrambled by Lee, made the decision to release the Somerset batsman as easy as this whitewash series victory will be for Australia.
On Betfair, the patriotic pommie money could do nothing to prevent the price on the good things from falling to below 1/4 levels for the first time. The news that an experienced campaigner like Trescothick running home sent the Aussies down to 1.23, with tens of thousands of dollars still looking to back the dead-certs before the first test ends in the afternoon session on day three.
My advice remains take to the 7.6 on a 5-0 Aussie series win. This Australian side is hungry to humiliate these pasty pommies, and nothing short of a monsoon will be enough to prevent the gutless pathetic overrated unwashed poms from losing every test match.
Pommie coach Duncan Fletcher delivered the expected news after watching several videos of Brett Lee knocking out Trescothick's stumps in the Ashes warm-up game with New South Wales this past weekend.
Fletcher said diplomatically that the poms "are naturally disappointed to lose a player of his quality from our Ashes squad."
But despite the pom improving on the 2 he scored in the first warm-up game, his failure to get into double figures, while having his brains scrambled by Lee, made the decision to release the Somerset batsman as easy as this whitewash series victory will be for Australia.
On Betfair, the patriotic pommie money could do nothing to prevent the price on the good things from falling to below 1/4 levels for the first time. The news that an experienced campaigner like Trescothick running home sent the Aussies down to 1.23, with tens of thousands of dollars still looking to back the dead-certs before the first test ends in the afternoon session on day three.
My advice remains take to the 7.6 on a 5-0 Aussie series win. This Australian side is hungry to humiliate these pasty pommies, and nothing short of a monsoon will be enough to prevent the gutless pathetic overrated unwashed poms from losing every test match.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Whinging Roebuck
I would like to up the stakes in this upcoming Ashes series. When Australia delivers the 5-o whitewash of the unwashed, I'm asking that the poms (as punishment) please take Pete Roebuck home where he belongs. For some unknown reason, this former pommie batsman, who turned his back on queen and country to move to our great land, gets my back up even when he gets with the program and starts pommie bashing.
The man just tries too hard. In a piece written for the Sydney Morning Herald about the current match between New South Wales and England, Roebuck wrote the following:
"Where have England gone wrong? It is not so long ago that these same players, coaches and advisers played their part to the utmost in one of the most thrilling series the game has known. Now they asked their hosts to play an artificial match that will not count in the records. Now they insisted upon compulsory declarations and allowed players to run on and off the field as they pleased. Now they turned a potentially intense and illuminating struggle into an exhibition match. Nothing had any meaning. It was not a first-class contest."
Since when has a three day match between a local side and touring outfit been an intense illuminating struggle? Aren't all these games always an exhibition match staged for the benefit of getting ring rusty players into form, while lining the pockets of the local side? Does anyone really give a flying fuck about the outcome? (unless it's the poms getting their asses cooked in the great Aussie outdoors)
Anyway, the poms achieved what they wanted today. They took a few wickets, scored some runs, most notable a partnership of 90 between Pietersen and Flintoff. Pietersen remains unbeaten on 80, with Flintoff not out on 48, closing day two on 4/256. That's in reply to the 9/355 New South Wales declared on earlier.
England First Innings Close
M E Trescothick b Lee 8
A J Strauss c & b Clark 50
A N Cook lbw b McGrath 59
I R Bell c Smith b Clark 0
K P Pietersen not out 80
A Flintoff not out 48
Extras lb3 w1 nb7 11
Total 4 wkts (59 overs) 256
I highlight both Trescothnick, whose in shocking form even by pathetic pommie standards, and Bell who is hopelessly out of his depth at test level. This batting lineup looks weak, weak, weak, and if this is the best the poms have to offer, you can forget making plans to see Day Four and Five of any test matches this summer.
The man just tries too hard. In a piece written for the Sydney Morning Herald about the current match between New South Wales and England, Roebuck wrote the following:
"Where have England gone wrong? It is not so long ago that these same players, coaches and advisers played their part to the utmost in one of the most thrilling series the game has known. Now they asked their hosts to play an artificial match that will not count in the records. Now they insisted upon compulsory declarations and allowed players to run on and off the field as they pleased. Now they turned a potentially intense and illuminating struggle into an exhibition match. Nothing had any meaning. It was not a first-class contest."
Since when has a three day match between a local side and touring outfit been an intense illuminating struggle? Aren't all these games always an exhibition match staged for the benefit of getting ring rusty players into form, while lining the pockets of the local side? Does anyone really give a flying fuck about the outcome? (unless it's the poms getting their asses cooked in the great Aussie outdoors)
Anyway, the poms achieved what they wanted today. They took a few wickets, scored some runs, most notable a partnership of 90 between Pietersen and Flintoff. Pietersen remains unbeaten on 80, with Flintoff not out on 48, closing day two on 4/256. That's in reply to the 9/355 New South Wales declared on earlier.
England First Innings Close
M E Trescothick b Lee 8
A J Strauss c & b Clark 50
A N Cook lbw b McGrath 59
I R Bell c Smith b Clark 0
K P Pietersen not out 80
A Flintoff not out 48
Extras lb3 w1 nb7 11
Total 4 wkts (59 overs) 256
I highlight both Trescothnick, whose in shocking form even by pathetic pommie standards, and Bell who is hopelessly out of his depth at test level. This batting lineup looks weak, weak, weak, and if this is the best the poms have to offer, you can forget making plans to see Day Four and Five of any test matches this summer.
Botham reckons Aussies too old
The above picture was taken from pommie garbagepaper the News Of The World. They and Ian Botham both claim the Aussies are too old to compete against the young guns from the motherland, dubbing the green and gold "Dad's Army".
"The Aussies are a year and a half older than when the teams clashed last time and they were creaking then - especially in the bowling department," Botham said. "If they go into a Test with Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath, Adam Gilchrist, Matthew Hayden, Justin Langer, Stuart MacGill and Damien Martyn, the Aussies will have seven players aged 35 and over.
Creaking? Does Beefy Botham really believe our bowling attack faired much worse than the crap the poms were chucking down most the day. Fact is, some shit umpiring decisions gave the poms the Ashes, along with Warney dropping slogarse saffer Pietersen on the final morning of the last day.
Clearly Botham hasn't witnessed much of the pommie bowling on this tour so far. To say they have rarely looked like taking a wicket is an understatement. The guile and consistency of the old men Warne and McGrath will prove instrumental in us crushing the hopes of the great unwashed this summer. And with Lee and potentially Shaun Tait roughing the poms up with the quick stuff, the victory is already set in stone. The poms know it, Botham knows it, Flintoff, Fletcher, Strauss, Trescothnick, they all know it. The Ashes will be back where they belong before Christmas.
Botham added: "I am fed up hearing things like 'if we are right' and 'if we have a little bit of luck'. That's bulls--t"
I agree with Botham on that point. The poms need more than a little luck. They need a f---ing miracle, and that's if they're just to win a single test this summer.
Sir Dropalot returns for the poms
Australia has gained another 'edge' in the runup to the Ashes after news the pommies are to recall Geraint Jones for the first test in Brisbane. The slippery glovesman has been called up to try and strengthen the paper-thin pommie batting lineup, which continues to look almost as fragile as a pane of glass coming up against a flying rock.
Pom coach Duncan Fletcher broke the good news to Australians yesterday.
"Fred [captain Andrew Flintoff] and myself had a good meeting and we decided we're going to go into the Test with Jones," said Fletcher.
"At this stage we're convinced that Jones will be a better prospect for batting at number seven."
Apparently Fletch has seen something the rest of the world hasn't, believing Jones strength is his mental ability and technical ability on Aussie-type wickets.
"Looking at the pressure that he's played under before, we believe he handles the pressure better," Fletcher explained. "Technically we think he's a better batter on these wickets and especially in Test match cricket."
What Fletcher is forgetting is even if Jones manages 10-20 runs every four innings, from a few lucky edges that fly to the boundary, those will more than be given back when he grounds his average four catches and missed stumping opportunities.
The news has seen the price on the Aussies regaining the Ashes crash to 1.25 on betting exchange Betfair. Now is the time to make your play and get on the good things to win the first test match at around 1.56. I can easily see the Aussies starting the match at sub-1.50 levels, and only losing the toss will see the price trade above 1.50 again in Brisbane.
Pom coach Duncan Fletcher broke the good news to Australians yesterday.
"Fred [captain Andrew Flintoff] and myself had a good meeting and we decided we're going to go into the Test with Jones," said Fletcher.
"At this stage we're convinced that Jones will be a better prospect for batting at number seven."
Apparently Fletch has seen something the rest of the world hasn't, believing Jones strength is his mental ability and technical ability on Aussie-type wickets.
"Looking at the pressure that he's played under before, we believe he handles the pressure better," Fletcher explained. "Technically we think he's a better batter on these wickets and especially in Test match cricket."
What Fletcher is forgetting is even if Jones manages 10-20 runs every four innings, from a few lucky edges that fly to the boundary, those will more than be given back when he grounds his average four catches and missed stumping opportunities.
The news has seen the price on the Aussies regaining the Ashes crash to 1.25 on betting exchange Betfair. Now is the time to make your play and get on the good things to win the first test match at around 1.56. I can easily see the Aussies starting the match at sub-1.50 levels, and only losing the toss will see the price trade above 1.50 again in Brisbane.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Angry Sporting Tips 11/13
New South Wales can keep the poms in check by posting a score of 450+ on Day Two. It would take an inebriated aussie, or a stupid pommie, to back the poms to survive two days and get a draw out of this match. My advice would be try to get something matched at around 4.5-4.8 on NSW wrapping up an easy victory against the poms in the next couple of days. Or lay the poms, it's not hard to find some patriotic pommie wanting to flush their money down the toilet with a punt on their pathetic team.
In tennis, I'm liking Justine Henin-Hardenne to win the WTA Championship against Amelie Mauresmo. They've had some close matches this year, but I'd back the consistent and classy Belgian to overcome the unreliable and fragile Mauresmo. I'm sure Henin will get the job done in straight sets, but playing it pommie negative with an outright bet at 1.61 with SkyBet.
There's some soccer in pom land today and an important fixture at that. Arsenal are backed strongly to beat Liverpool, but I'll be backing both sides to win 1-0 at 7.6 for Arsenal, and 10.5 for Liverpool. Under three goals looks as certain as the poms losing the Ashes this summer, get some of the action at 1.63. Take a look at unquoted in the Tottenham/Reading game. 19s for either side to bang home four goals is value, and take the 2.60 on three goals or more.
In tennis, I'm liking Justine Henin-Hardenne to win the WTA Championship against Amelie Mauresmo. They've had some close matches this year, but I'd back the consistent and classy Belgian to overcome the unreliable and fragile Mauresmo. I'm sure Henin will get the job done in straight sets, but playing it pommie negative with an outright bet at 1.61 with SkyBet.
There's some soccer in pom land today and an important fixture at that. Arsenal are backed strongly to beat Liverpool, but I'll be backing both sides to win 1-0 at 7.6 for Arsenal, and 10.5 for Liverpool. Under three goals looks as certain as the poms losing the Ashes this summer, get some of the action at 1.63. Take a look at unquoted in the Tottenham/Reading game. 19s for either side to bang home four goals is value, and take the 2.60 on three goals or more.
Tremendous start pommies!
The price on Australia reclaiming the Ashes could yet climb after New South Wales lost five wickets in a day against the best of pommie bowling. Phil Jaques pummelled the poms with a timely century, but NSW can be disappointed by their failure to get past 400 runs in a day against this tame bowling attack. The other disappointment for us on the day will be both Katich and Clarkey failing to turn 50s into 100s. Both will see their first class batting averages of 127.50 and 154.50 respectively against England fall after this capitulation.
Not too many positives for the poms, except most allegedly escaped sunburn - unlike the Barmy Army who are already looking like a certain seafood on the barbie . But Ashley "The King of Nothing" Giles will no doubt have the Aussies soiling their underwear after returning with figures of 2/46 off 15 overs. Their other self-proclaimed "spin bowler" Monty Panesar picked up a wicket when Clarkey got bored with the negative bowling of wide-uns and gave a catch to one of McGraths bunnys Trescothnick.
The day ended with NSW on 5/325. Another 50-75 and the poms will almost certainly struggle to avoid an innings defeat from here.
Not too many positives for the poms, except most allegedly escaped sunburn - unlike the Barmy Army who are already looking like a certain seafood on the barbie . But Ashley "The King of Nothing" Giles will no doubt have the Aussies soiling their underwear after returning with figures of 2/46 off 15 overs. Their other self-proclaimed "spin bowler" Monty Panesar picked up a wicket when Clarkey got bored with the negative bowling of wide-uns and gave a catch to one of McGraths bunnys Trescothnick.
The day ended with NSW on 5/325. Another 50-75 and the poms will almost certainly struggle to avoid an innings defeat from here.
Let's go Aussie!
There's good and bad about the start of a summer Ashes series in the greatest land of all. The joy of thrashing the useless pommie cricket team is something every Aussie can enjoy, even the Sheila's that hate cricket. The bad is our country gets infested with pasty, unwashed, beer-bellied football hooligans who have a habit of turning bright pink the moment their skin makes contact with the great Australian outdoors. So the sooner we get the job done and send these whinging pommie bastards back to their freezing darkened cells the better as far as I'm concerned.
Let's get to the serious business of profiting from this non-contest:
The Barmy Army is here, and let's face it, you'd have to be pretty fucking mad to travel around the world to be embarassed by the greatest cricket team the world has ever seen. In fact, I will be treating anything less than a 5-0 series win over this shitty pommie side as a series loss. Take the 7s available on Betfair for the whitewashoftheunwashed and enjoy a 600% return on your investment at the end of the summer. (Get it while it lasts, the price wont last long!!!)
Unfortunately, most of the pommies have woken up and realised the result of this Ashes series is already a foregone conclusion. I've been backing the Baggy Greens from 1.55 down to 1.36 over the course of the last 6 months, now the best you can get is about 1.25. (25 cents for every dollar you stake) The best way to play the markets now is concentrate on the match betting, some pommie jokers actually believe us Aussies are a 1.56 shot to win the first test. Imagine if they win the toss, we'll probably be priced closer to evens. One thing I learned from the last series, those poms love throwing patriotic money at their crappy cricket team. So expect some generous prices on the Aussies when they take the odd wicket, or score a few runs.
Speaking of Betfair, those gutless pommies had me banned and removed from their community on the motherland site. Personally, I even believe most of the poms realise my banishment is a loss for everyone. I'll even go so far as to say most of the blokes on there are good sports and willingly engaged in the banter and mild sledging during the matches. The likes of "GrimReaper", "Blighty "and "chatname" who went running to the "forum police", good job... I hope you celebrated by taking a rare shower!
I don't really read the forum much anymore, but I see my legendary (and embarassing thread) "New market: can the poms avoid an innings defeat?" lives on. But you wont see my name up on the thread anymore, one of the site operators has apparently chosen to rename me "La Puta" (which means "The Whore" in Spanish). I'd say now is a good time to led my thread die a peaceful death, we all make mistakes, and let's face it most of the poms mothers did that giving birth to the losers who throw their money away betting on the pommie cricket team! So the legend of Anger Therapy has pretty much been killed now on the official site, but I'll be helping my followers profit from their Ashes series with live updates on here instead.
Let's get to the serious business of profiting from this non-contest:
The Barmy Army is here, and let's face it, you'd have to be pretty fucking mad to travel around the world to be embarassed by the greatest cricket team the world has ever seen. In fact, I will be treating anything less than a 5-0 series win over this shitty pommie side as a series loss. Take the 7s available on Betfair for the whitewashoftheunwashed and enjoy a 600% return on your investment at the end of the summer. (Get it while it lasts, the price wont last long!!!)
Unfortunately, most of the pommies have woken up and realised the result of this Ashes series is already a foregone conclusion. I've been backing the Baggy Greens from 1.55 down to 1.36 over the course of the last 6 months, now the best you can get is about 1.25. (25 cents for every dollar you stake) The best way to play the markets now is concentrate on the match betting, some pommie jokers actually believe us Aussies are a 1.56 shot to win the first test. Imagine if they win the toss, we'll probably be priced closer to evens. One thing I learned from the last series, those poms love throwing patriotic money at their crappy cricket team. So expect some generous prices on the Aussies when they take the odd wicket, or score a few runs.
Speaking of Betfair, those gutless pommies had me banned and removed from their community on the motherland site. Personally, I even believe most of the poms realise my banishment is a loss for everyone. I'll even go so far as to say most of the blokes on there are good sports and willingly engaged in the banter and mild sledging during the matches. The likes of "GrimReaper", "Blighty "and "chatname" who went running to the "forum police", good job... I hope you celebrated by taking a rare shower!
I don't really read the forum much anymore, but I see my legendary (and embarassing thread) "New market: can the poms avoid an innings defeat?" lives on. But you wont see my name up on the thread anymore, one of the site operators has apparently chosen to rename me "La Puta" (which means "The Whore" in Spanish). I'd say now is a good time to led my thread die a peaceful death, we all make mistakes, and let's face it most of the poms mothers did that giving birth to the losers who throw their money away betting on the pommie cricket team! So the legend of Anger Therapy has pretty much been killed now on the official site, but I'll be helping my followers profit from their Ashes series with live updates on here instead.
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