Mistake to take poms seriously

Just read a blinding piece from the Courier where half-journalist, half-comedian, Robert Craddock suggested the poms are a much better touring side than the recent predecessors we have dismantled.

C'mon mate. You gotta be f---ing with us? It doesn't take Einstein to realise this pommie team has more flaws than the beer-bellied women with bad teeth you'll find in any English pub.

Ian Bell, now a key batsman either at No.3 or No.6, will probably still be doubting his ability to make it in Australia.

Probably doubting his ability? I find it hilarious this Bell that don't ring is still in the pommie team full stop. Even Bell himself is probably scratching his head and wondering what the f--- he needs to do to get dropped from this sack of s--- team.

Whichever spinner is chosen - Ashley Giles or Monty Panesar - won't be able to match Shane Warne.

No s---. If you tied both Warney's hands behind his back, blindfolded him, and chopped off both his legs, he'd still be more effective than these two pommies.

And swing bowler Matthew Hoggard must be wondering whether he is really suited to Australia's unforgiving conditions.

I've yet to see any conditions that Hogg---- is suited to. Yet sadly for the pathetic pommies, he's still their most potent bowling weapon so that's why he's in the team.

But other parts of the jigsaw are falling nicely into place.

Swingman Jimmy Anderson, who looked district standard in a woeful opening to the tour, now looks Test class after his performance against New South Wales.

Seriously, you're just writing this stuff to get some attention, right? Anderson test class, give me a f---ing break. As they say in the land of the pasty complexion, this guy aint even village class. The poms should save Anderson for the one day matches, where cricket fans expert every delivery to be smashed to the boundary.

He goes onto say that Strauss plays like a man who was born in Australia. But the editorial must have cut the sentence which originally read: "Strauss plays like a man who was born in Australia, but was sent to training camp in England for 10 years and had his Aussie passport revoked."